Cristiano Ronaldo’s new statue looks nothing like Cristiano Ronaldo.
The hideous bronze bust was unveiled when his home country, Portugal, named an airport after the soccer superstar. His so-called facsimile has a crooked smile, an unfamiliar hairstyle and eyes that aren’t level nor spaced like Ronaldo’s.
Artists simply can’t capture Ronaldo’s likeness, as witnessed by earlier statues commissioned in his honour.
When you get within arm’s length of Bobby Orr’s iconic statue immortalizing his Stanley Cup-winning goal, Wayne Gretzky forever hoisting the Stanley Cup or Michael Jordan perpetually flying through the air for a dunk, it’s evident there are sculptors who can capture athletic accomplishments.
The statue of Gordie Howe in Saskatoon has a look of familiarity, but the Canadian Football Hall of Fame busts for Pinball Clemons and George Reed are unrecognizable.
However, it’s not fair to expect another perfect, marble statue of David; Michelangelo has been dead for 500 years.