‘Let go or be dragged’: Mental health advocate preaches speaking out

Mental health issues have increased since the COVID-19 pandemic hit the world two years ago.

Whether it’s a lack of social interactions or loss of a job or career, everyone has been affected in some way or another.

Allan Kehler is a mental health advocate who says it can be the hardest thing to want to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

That’s the most common comment he hears from his clients.

“How can you help someone that doesn’t want to be helped? I think the answer is quite simple. You have to go back to understanding what you can control and then you have to release the rest,” Kehler said during an interview with Gormley guest host Taylor MacPherson.

“First of all, silence is definitely not the answer. Sometimes, I think it is uncomfortable for some of us to reach out to a friend or someone that we might see in our place of work who is struggling.

“It’s as simple as just saying, ‘Hey, I don’t mean to pry but I just want to let you know that I’m concerned and I would be more than happy to listen if you ever need to talk.’ ”

Kehler says it all comes back to those dealing with mental health issues to be able to communicate how they feel. Without it, it becomes an incredibly hard task to solve.

“There’s a great line that says ‘Let go or be dragged’ and as a helper, it’s horrible,” he said. “You basically have front-row seats to a horrific show where you watch the person sometimes deteriorate in front of your eyes, but they are the ones that have to want the change.

“Whether or not they want to talk, you offer formal support, you continue to check in, and then I would say you’ve got to have those boundaries in place so that you don’t lose yourself in that journey.”

One of the biggest things Kehler is working on with clients is self-care.

There is a method he practises that ultimately changes people’s lives.

“Take two per cent every day for you,” he said. “It’s going to equate to 20 minutes. I often refer to the big three: Walk, talk and write. Get yourself out the door. You have to be free from some of those emotions.”